It's just a phase....

Some days I wonder if I made the right the decision about us while some days I'm so sure of myself, but what's going to happen when this turns into a total disaster? What if it has the opposite effect of what we were originally trying to achieve? I don't know if I'd ever be able to live with myself. I just feel like I'm hurting you even more than I'm trying to help you. I guess I just have to trust my instincts. I just hope we are able to go back to the way things used to be once this phase is over.

You're highly treasured.

This song is a dedication to every man or woman who'd been told they're worthless. I just want y'all to know that you might be worthless to worldly people, but to God you're the most beautiful and treasured art work of God. So when someone tries to tell you otherwise, just remind them that you're treasured by the Almighty God. What else can beat that kind of love?


Song: Beautiful by Mercy Me

Priorities.

I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, but turning my back on you when you needed me the most goes beyond the stupidest mistake I've ever made in my life. I listened to you plead and cry out to me and I promised you that I would make the tears go away, but when you were gone I turned my back on you.
The people I should have helped the most, I ignored the most. Instead I went and helped undeserving people. People who should have been my second option to begin with. How could I have done such a thing? It makes me wonder what that says about who I am and whom I going to be. I don't know why I keep helping people who are never going to be there for me in the long run; people who would look on the other side if I needed their help.
I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. All I can do now is try not to make the same mistake again because every time I think of what I did, I feel sick to my stomach. The guilt of it all eats me up like a deadly disease each day. I have not the guts to tell anyone what I did because they'd ask me the same question I've been asking myself for a while now, "how could you choose strangers over family?"

Holding on to nothing

There are days where it seems really clear that that something or someone you're holding on to is not worthy of my time, but at the same time it's impossible to bring yourself to think that such a thing could be true. Some might refer to this as being in denial....what a sweet denial it is. It's really hard to let go of something you love and that's what leads to wanting to hold on to it for as long as you can.
It is easy to build up false hope rather than face the true reality of the fact that indeed we're living in a fantasy bubble. This is the reason why when reality sets in, it hits us really hard because we weren't expecting such a thing to happen.
So when you decide to hold on to someone, make sure they're doing the same for you.

The case of the Abused

Abuse...be it mentally, emotionally or physically is the most self damaging issue in a person's life. Some individuals believe that as years go by the memory of the abuse would sort of fade away. Does it really? A lot of people might have a different opinion about this issue; they might believe something along this line, "with years of therapy the individual would learn to let go...or heal from the pain" while there might be a little truth to that statement; I don't quite believe it happens that way. No matter the amount of therapy the person goes through, they would never fully forget what happened because something always brings back the memory.
Another thing is that the person might be stuck..psycho sexually stuck at the particular moment in their life. For example, someone who is abused as an adolescent or a teenager tends to have the mind of set of an adolescent or teenager even after they've grown into mature men and women.

A lot of people know who Michael Jackson is...some people see him and a pedophile, while other see him as an innocent people who fell a victim of human cruelty. I for one believe he's innocent of everything he's accused of. (your opinion might be different and I respect that, but it's my blog, so deal with it) Anyway, it is believed that Michael was abused as a child and that his lack of childhood took a toll on him as an adult. Why else do you think "a grown man would build an amusement park for himself?" If you look very close to into his life, you would notice he always hung out with children between the ages of nine and eleven. I believe this is within the time period he was abused as a child and he's been stuck in that age group mentality even as an adult. Your opinion might vary...but an abuse is an abuse and it's very self damaging. It's just something that stays with you...forever. You can forgive and let go, but you can never forget.